My maid, Paro!

You cannot live with them, you cannot live without them!
Duh! You guessed it wrong ;) I am not talking about your spouse, but the maids!
My maid, Paro :) 
"Didi, main kal nahi aane wali, bartan saath ke saath saaf kar lena, jyada dikkat nahi hogi tumhe" (Madam, I won't be coming tomorrow, make sure you do the dishes after every meal, won't be much of a problem) 
Now, here I am dumbstruck, open mouth and not knowing what to say &*^%

Paro takes a leave for every festival that is celebrated on planet Earth, from Naag Panchami to Christmas!

Goes for gala weddings of relatives. Yes, I use the word GALA here because wedding ceremonies last for 6-7 days!! I remember taking exactly 3 leaves for my marriage!

A little sneeze and cough and she gets hospitalized with two bottles of saline shot!

The other day I was working on my laptop when I heard a shriek, AAAHHH! Hurriedly I went into the kitchen where I could spot exactly 3 drops of blood on her middle finger (a tiny cut). I cleaned and applied a band aid, and just when I was about to leave she said, "Ab kaise kaam karu, baaki ke bartan tum saaf kar lo" (How can I work now, please do the remaining dishes)

No, no ,no, no, no, the next morning while I was literally praying that Paro gets "well" and comes to work, "Ding dong"! Excitedly I opened the door to see a woman dressed in the zazzy clothes, "Paro, I exclaimed! Shyly she said, "Didi, aaj mera birthday hai, bus yehi batane aayi thee" (Today is my birthday, just dropped by to tell you the same).

Happy Birthday Paro!
Dumbstruck, open mouth again, I went inside to pick up the mop.

Na kar tu ghamandwa,

Jindagi hai jhandawa!

Chuhe!

Nah...not rats. I have something about nose rats. Well I have called them naak ke chuhe since the day I started talking. 

"Naak ke chuhe"

I don't know how many of you know what I am talking about.

I really wanted to look up in google about an "English" name or a more sophisticated name for it :)

My search for naak ke chuhe took me to --

-- Hindi shabdkosh where the meaning of chuhe and chuhedaani were explained.

Nooooo, I said to myself..

-- A few scrolls, I was directed to an idioms page "Pet mein chuhe doudna"

Duhhh!!

-- "You are the rat of my nose" was the explanation on a page

???

-- I was even given an option to check a page on Ayurveda "Naak ki sabse kharaab bimaari"

%^&^

-- Next link  was "Speaking tree", which read 

"Es  duniya  mai har desh or har sanskriti mai shagun or apshagun ko maana jata hai. Koi bhi aisa yug nai tha jab prakitik sanketoo ko na mana gaya ho. Koi bhi puranik granth es baat se inkaar nahi karta ki prakiti hame aane wale samye ki jaankaari sanketoo mai date hai"

Om Shanti!

Google dear, only if you could give me one link where I could explain to the readers that I actually wanted to talk about those tiny dirt balls, which people pick from the nose and kind of therapeutically make them round and round and round to perfection with the thumb and index finger before tossing them in the air.

Na kar tu ghamandwa

Jindagi hai jhandawa!

Post about it will follow ;) ;)

Ting Tong!

Having sipped on my cutting morning tea in my newly done balcony, appreciating the chirping of birds, the lovely winter breeze, the rising sun...I suddenly felt "the" pressure. Wow!, I said to myself. It's a beautiful day!!

Newspaper in my hand, I was smiling in the loo and thinking how human body is a miracle in itself!

By the passing of each little minute, I grew closer to biology. I was deep engrossed in my thoughts. Was I meditating in some way? Nah, I don't know.

Just when that small miraculous morsel of pizza which had traveled all the way from Domino's kitchen, to my esophagus to my anus, churning round and round through my intestines, bearing all the acid attacks from liver and pancreas, was about to meet his floating friends, and me silently enjoying the whole process, there was a TING TONG!! 

Somebody at the door!! I knew it was my maid. And if I didn't open the door at the second bell, she will disappear..

Now this is CRISIS!

Here comes the decision making moment!

This is the time when you have to make a choice..

Should I STOP then and there, wash my hands and open the door OR 

Should I take the road less traveled by....

Na kar tu ghamandwa..

Jindagi hai jhandawa!!